While the 1970s pop psychotherapy   movement focused on the importance of letting anger out, more recent research suggests that there's a smarter, healthier way to react to life's misfortunes with forgiveness. In a recent study, it was found that when individuals were about to forgive, they experienced greater joy, a greater sense of control over life and less depression. Sound appealing. *Why holding a grudge   can be harmful? Your boyfriend blows you off for an important date. If you stay angry at him, you'll probably get fresh flowers on your doorstep and maybe a romantic meal or two. But grudge-holding only gives us the illusion   of power. If you hold on to that anger on a chronic basis, then it has power over you, eating away at your peace of mind and perhaps even your immune system. A study by Kathleen Lawler, Ph. D., a psychology professor at the University of Tennessee, confirms that people who are unable to forgive report more stress in their lives, more illness and more visits to the doctor than do forgiving folk. *Going from a grudge to forgiveness A few ways to develop your capacity to tolerate--Try writing a daily "forgiveness" reminder in your journal; it may sound out of date, but it's a great way to help gain control over your emotional life.--Write a letter to your offender, detailing exactly what's bothering you. Then throw it. You'll feel better, even if your message never reaches its intended target.--What, exactly, makes your blood boil? Forgiveness isn't about swallowing anger or being a doormat. It's not about forgetting, either. On the contrary, it's about acknowledging an offence with your eyes wide open--and then releasing the anger. That means not quarrelling with the person who hurt you, but focusing on the good parts of your life. *An act of courage Are you still not convinced that it's worth it to put your energies toward forgiving? Besides the benefits to your mental and physical health, true forgiveness is a sign of strength and spiritual virtue  . "It takes a lot of moral muscle to forgive," says Dr Witvleit of Hope College in Michigan. The bottom line: Forgiving eventually benefits the forgiver more than the person who has done wrong. So start putting your own well-being first, and live life with as much interest and love as you can. The author thinks when one forgives,     .
he will ignore the offence he bears the offence without complaints he tries his best to forget the bad experience he does not stick to the past but welcomes the bright side of life