I was brought up in the British, stiff upper lip style. Strong feelings aren't something you display in public. So, you can imagine that I was unprepared for the outpouring of public grief at a Chinese funeral. My editorial team leader died recently after a short illness. He was 31. The news was so unexpected that it left us all shocked and upset. A female colleague burst into tears and cried piteously at her desk. Somehow we got through the day's work. The next day was the funeral. Our big boss stepped forward to deliver a eulogy  and was soon in tears. She carried on, in Chinese of course, but at the end said in English: "There will be no more deadlines for you in heaven." Next came a long-term colleague who also dissolved in tears but carried on with her speech despite being almost overcome by emotion. Then a close friend of the dead man paid tribute, weeping openly as he spoke. Sorrow is spreading. Me and women were now sobbing uncontrollably. Finally, the man's mother, supported between two women, addressed her son in his coffin. She almost collapsed and had to be held up. We were invited to step forward to each lay a white rose on the casket. Our dead colleague looked as if he was taking a nap. At the end of the service I walked away from the funeral parlor stunned at the outpouring of emotion. In the UK, families grieve privately and then try to hold it together and not break down at a funeral. Here in China it would seem that grieving is a public affair. It strikes me that it is more cathartic to cry your eyes out than try to keep it bottled up for fear of embarrassment, which is what many of us do in the West. Afterwards, a Chinese colleague told me that the lamenting at the funeral had been restrained  by Chinese standards. In some rural areas, she said, people used to be paid to mourn noisily. This struck me like something out of novel by Charles Dickens. But we have all seen on TV scenes of grief-stricken people in Gaza and the West Bank, in Afghanistan, Iraq and the relatives of victims of terrorist bombings around the world. Chinese grief is no different. I realized that it's the reserved British way of mourning that is out of step with the rest of the world. According to the writer, people in the West   _  .
prefer to control their sadness in public cry their eyes out at the public funeral are not willing to be sad for the dead have better way to express sadness