My grandmother Adele loved culture and was generous with its gifts. When I was a child, she took me to museums, restaurants, dances. She showered me with gifts from her travels around the world. But I can only remember her giving me one book--a book that, to this day, I have not read. She presented me with her own favorite childhood book: Hans Brinker. My grandmother was happy to share this book with me. She even decorated the title page with her proud writing. I tried to read it. I adored reading, and would dive into a new pile of books from the library all at once. But something about Hans Brinker just wouldn't let me in. The story was set in Holland, a long time ago. It felt dull and unfamiliar--even though I was a fan of classics of other times and places. I simply read the first pages over and over. I could not progress. Standing on a bookshelf in our living room, the book was like something I avoided. It scolded me for not being interested, for not trying hard enough, for disappointing my grandmother. The book started to fit in, almost forgotten, until Adele asked. Had I read it? Did I like it? Always determined, she wanted to know the answer. I would make some kind of excuse, feel bad, and open it again, hoping for a new reaction. _ . Years passed and finally Adele and I both accepted that I would never read Hans Brinker. Eventually I cleared the book from the shelf. The Hans Brinker experience led me to set a rule that I've lived by ever since: Do not ask about a book given as a gift. Don't ask, despite your desire to discuss it to grow closer. The desire for such connection is what gives book-giving with special meaning--and increases the owner's possibility to be a letdown. Guilt is basically the same as for all gifts, though. If the giver doesn't have the pleasure of seeing or hearing about the gift being enjoyed, and asks whether it is, then the owner--unless she can truthfully say "yes"--either has to admit to not liking the present, or else lie on the spot. Neither is pleasant. So, don't ask. What does the author think about the book his grandmother gave him?
Boring. Interesting. Puzzling. Disappointing.