After we meet people it is up to us to make them our friends. Let us stop a moment and consider what really makes a friend. The major qualities like faithfulness, devotion, friendly company, flash through our minds. But it is the large number of very small particular qualities that make up one's whole character, such as cheerfulness, friendliness, and punctuality  . After all, " to make a friend, be a friend" is not such a big and difficult order. There are particular favorable qualities, which attract others to us, and some elements which do have an effect on people in fundamental psychology  or not. If you are in the presence of a shy person, talking and asking casual   questions may _ . Think of what would be most acceptable to the other person, for you to talk, or to listen. Either way the goal is to make yourself  pleasant. Always remember to listen, but listen intelligently. To have anyone " hang on our words" is the most unnoticeably clever way in the world to please somebody. For a few extremely happy seconds we are the center of attraction, but when it is our turn to be audience, let us remember how we felt as the actor, and let's be genuinely   interested in what the other fellow is saying. Other people will like us, if we like them. If you want friends, keep your mind and heart open to friendship. Be alive to the other person's world. According to the passage, an important way in making friends is to   _  .
attract them be attracted listen attentively talk widely