I suddenly felt like drinking some wine last night, because I had a tough decision to make. It's been too long for me to live in the shadow created by myself! Darkness has taken me but fortunately, I finally woke up and decided to make my way out. Amanda bought me a bottle of wine which tasted as bitter as the life I had been undergoing. I told her what I had experienced. It is I who chose to be like this! It's my own choicer. Had I not come back from Singapore, not decided to leave FX, not divorced with Maggie, I would not have met you! There are too many things, which are not supposed to happen, but happened to me! My job is stable but not well-paid, interesting but not challenging, relaxing but not what I want. There's nothing about the job I am proud of, except that I can be the interpreter for the vice mayor sometimes. But is it a big deal? No, I don't think so! There are now two options in front of me. I can either choose to stay in government or leave for foreign companies. I asked Amanda for advice, who suggested me to stay still in the government, and my parents also asked me to be patient! But my mind is totally blank now, and I don't know which to choose. I'm confused! Neither option is convincing, in terms of payment and long-term improvement. Working for the government will give me a stable career life. I won't need to worry about my sales targets and whatever insurance. But I will never be rich again! Working for a foreign company will bring good salaries and bonus to me. But I will be under great pressure to achieve whatever goals made by the company! I'm no longer a young salesman. My confidence is no longer as strong as before! God, it's so hard to make the decision! What's the author's attitude towards his decision?
Determined. Optimistic. Uncertain. Contented.