After much thought,I came up with a brilliant plan.I worked out a way for Rich to meet my mother and win her over.In fact,I arranged it so my mother would want to cook a meal especially for him. Rich was not only not Chinese and he was a few years younger than I was.And unfortunately,he looked much younger with his curly red hair,smooth pale skin,and the splash of orange freckles  across his nose.He was a bit on the short side,compactly built.In his dark business suits,he looked nice but easily forgettable,which was why I didn't notice him the first year we worked together at the firm.But my mother noticed everything. "So what do you think of Rich?"I finally asked,holding my breath. She tossed the eggplant in the hot oil,angry hissing sound."So many spots on his face,"she said. "They are freckles.Freckles are good luck."I said a bit too heatedly in trying to raise my voice above the noise of the kitchen. "Oh?"She said innocently. "Yes,the more spots the better." She considered this a moment and then smiled and spoke in Chinese:"When you were young,you got the chicken pox.So many spots,you had to stay home for ten days.So lucky,you thought." I couldn't save Rich in the kitchen.And I couldn't save him later at the dinner table. When I offered Rich a fork,he insisted on using the slippery ivory chopsticks.Halfway between his plate and his open mouth,a large chunk of redcooked eggplant fell on his brand new white shirt. And then he helped himself to big portions of the shrimp and snow peas,not realizing he should have taken only a polite spoonful. He declined the new greens,the tender and expensive leaves of bean plants.He thought he was being polite by refusing seconds,when he should have followed my father's example,who made a big show of taking small portions of seconds,thirds and even fourths,always saying he couldn't resist another bite and then groaning he was so full he thought he would burst. But the worst was when Rich criticized my mother's cooking and he didn't even know what he had done.As is the Chinese cook's custom,my mother always made modest remarks about her own cooking.That night she chose to direct it toward her famous steamed pork and preserved vegetable dish,which she always served with special pride. "Ai!This dish not salty enough,no flavor,"she complained,after tasting a small bite. This was our family's cue to eat more and proclaim it the best she had ever made.But before we could do so,Rich said,"You know,all it needs is a little soy sauce."And he proceeded to pour a riverful of the salty black stuff on the china plate,right before my mother's horrified eyes. And even though I was hoping throughout the dinner that my mother would somehow see Rich's kindness,his sense of humor and boyish charm.I knew he had failed miserably in her eyes. Rich obviously had a different opinion on how the evening had gone.When we got home,I was still shuddering, _ remembering how Rich had firmly shaken both my parents'hands with that same easy familiarity he used with nervous new clients."Linda,Tim,"he said,"we'll see you again."My parents'names are Lindo and Tin Jong,and nobody except a few older family friends ever calls them by their first names. "What did she say when you told her?"I knew he was referring to our getting married. "I never had a chance,"I said,which was true.How could I have told my mother I was getting married,when at every possible moment we were alone,she seemed to remark on how pale and ill he looked. Rich was smiling."How long does it take to say,Mom,Dad,I am getting married?" "You don't understand.You don't understand my mother." Which is NOT the reason why the author didn't tell her mother she was getting married?
She didn't have a chance to tell her mother. Her mother disliked Rich's freckled face. Mother was impressed by his boyish charm and humor. She was shocked by Rich's violation of cultural taboo.