Many people find themselves caught up in others' problems, and then confused about how and when to help. In fact, all relationships need limits no matter whether they are friendships, sibling relations, mates/ lovers or business relations. On some level, all limit setting means saying no. However, it is usually a qualified "no" that says what, where, when, and under what conditions you will give or not give to another person. There are three points we should keep in mind about limit setting: 1.Decide where to set the limits. Think about the entire situation. Consider your time, emotions, and means. Then consider whether you are helping the other person. Aim to do something to help the other person without taking on the whole problem. 2.Express the limits clearly. For example, you say to your friend, " I will lend you $20,000 no more than once every three months. And I expect you will pay me back within three months and certainly before you can borrow more." You say to another friend, "you can stay here for three weeks but you must help me with expenses and cooking and make sure that you will find your own place before the three weeks is up". 3.Stick to your limits. You are not responsible for making the other person obey the limits. You are only responsible for following the limits yourself. Your friend has repaid $12,500 of his/her $20,000 and asks for $20,000 more. You say no. He/She gets emotional and then says, "I need this money to cover a bad check. If you cared for our friendship, you would do it". Limit setting is often stressful and painful because people mistakes it for rejection. And limit setting certainly brings guilt. Bear in mind, it doesn't mean you have given up or quit loving your friend, lovers, or sibling. It does mean you are expressing that love in a different and more helpful (to both of you) manner. According to the passage, setting limits means  _  .
refusing always to say yes to your friend saying no to your friend who turns to you making different kinds of friends breaking away from your friend