When you meet someone for the first time, you will get a general idea in your mind of that person in the first moment. Your feelings about other people, however, are really just show the way that you look at yourself. Your reactions to others say more about you than they do about others. You cannot really love or hate about yourself. We are usually drawn to those who are most like us and may dislike those who have the same characters as ourselves that we dislike. Therefore, you can allow others to be the mirror to see more clearly your own feelings of self-worth. And, you can view the people you judge negatively   as mirrors to show you what you are not accepting about yourself. To live peacefully with others, you will need to learn patience. A big challenge is to let your judgment of others be a lifelong research of yourself. Your task is to consider all the decisions and judgments you make onto others carefully and to begin to see whether you can use them to help yourself and become whole. Several days ago I had a business lunch with a man who showed _ table manners. My first feeling was to judge him as rude. When I noticed that I was judging him, I stopped and asked myself what I was feeling. I discovered that I was nervous to be seen with someone who was eating with his mouth open and loudly blowing his nose. I was very surprised to find how much I cared about how the other people in the restaurant judged me. Remember that your judgment of someone will not serve as some kind of protective thing against you becoming like him. Just because I judge my lunch partner as rude, it does not prevent me from ever looking or acting like him. In the same way, my patience to him would not cause me to suddenly begin eating my food with my mouth open. When you get close to life in this manner, those with whom you hate very much as well as those whom you admire and love can be seen as mirrors, guiding you to discover parts of yourself that you dislike and to embrace your greatest characters you are proud of. Why did the writer feel bad when he was with his lunch partner?
Because he was afraid he himself might get the bad habits. Because he was too angry to go on with his lunch any more. Because he was afraid he might be thought badly of by others. Because he was too nervous to speak his opinions out right there.