In the old days, children were familiar with birth and death as part of life. This is perhaps the first generation of American youngsters who have never been close by during the birth of a baby and have never experienced the death of a family member. Nowadays when people grow old, we often send them to nursing homes. When they get sick, we send them to a hospital, where children are forbidden to visit terminally ill patients - even when those patients are their parents. This deprives the dying patient of significant family members during the last few days of his and it deprives the children of an experience of death, which is an important learning experience. Some of my colleagues and I once interviewed and followed about 500 terminally ill patients in order to find out what they could teach us and how we could be of more benefit, not just to them but to the members of their families as well. We were most impressed by the fact that even those patients who were not told of their serious illness were aware of its possible result. It is important for family members, and doctors and nurses to understand these patients' communications in order to truly understand their needs, fears and fantasies. Most of our patients welcomed another human being with whom they could talk openly, honestly, and frankly  about their trouble. Many of them shared with us their great need to be informed, to be kept up-to-date on their medical condition and to be told when the end was near. We found out that patients who had been dealt with openly and frankly were better able to deal with the coming of death and finally to reach a true stage of acceptance prior  to death. Five hundred terminally ill patients were interviewed with the main purpose of   _  .
observing how they reacted to the crisis of death helping them and their families overcome the fear of death finding out their attitude towards the coming of death learning how to best help them and their families