If you want to know how crazy people can be about their pets, you might remember that Helmsley left $12 million to her little Maltese dog when she died last year. The dog's name is Trouble. And apparendy Trouble is still alive. Of course, I would hang on,too, if someone left me $12 million. Look! Top-shelf dog food, soft pillows everywhere, drivers walking me in nice leafy parks. I would live to be 110 in dog years. The dog's story is still fresh in my mind the other night when I leave a steak house after a superb meal. Then I notice a woman carrying a small bag out of the door behind me. Once outside, she walks over to where a man is holding a tiny dog hke it's a baby. The dog looks like a Maltese, too, barking and annoying, with a cute haircut, And now I am treated to an absolute astonishing sight. Because now the woman reaches into the bag and begins pulling out little pieces of meat, which she puts on a plastic spoon and feeds to the dog. This is no cheap steak house. It's actually, way out of my league --I'm there only because it's a special occasion. I can tell you this: if I walked out of the place with any leftover steak, it sure wouldn't go to a dog. Not at those prices. So now the woman is Spoon-feeding the dog and the man is just standing there, holding this dog and looking as if this is the most normal thing in the world. And the dog is calmly chewing these pieces of steak as if he's a little king. And this dog is in no hurry. He's having a great time. A few minutes go by, and now the dog finishes all of his steak. At this point, I hear the woman say to the man "Think he's still hungry?" And she glances behind her at the restaurant, as if she might go back in there to get more steak for the dog. Watching all this, I'm afraid I'm going to shout, "Are you out of your mind? Feeding all that pricey steak to that little dog? Did you see what our American life is like today? We're all going to be eating dog food if this keeps up!" Why would the author live to be 110 in dog years?
Because he is always in poor health and falls ill. Because a Maltese dog lives longer than a human being. Because his grandparents left him a large sum of money. Because he thinks the dog is treated extremely well.