I was standing in the kitchen helping with dinner, asking my mom about my brother's doctor ' s  appointment. They  were  testing  him for  autism( ) .  My  brother, Captain, four  years old at the time, had always been my best friend. We would wrestle, play games and have the best of times together, even though we were far apart in age. My mom told me about the appointment, but ,when she got to the point about the test, she  stopped. I turned around  and  she had tears  in her eyes. I  stared  at her, wishing she would say  something , when  I realized what that  silence meant. My eyes  got blurry ( )  and  my  breathing  got  very  ragged.  " The  test was positive , sweetheart , "  she said. I broke down, crying. My mom was trying to cool me down, saying that Captain couldn't see me like this and I had to be a big girl , when the front door opened, and Captain, our three-year-old sister Cali, and  my father came in. I walked out of the kitchen. I couldn't look at him. Everything had just  changed. He was no longer that little baby brother who was just a normal little boy. We had to move a while later because Captain needed treatment. One day ,I was standing  in the bus line waiting when the " short bus"  came and picked some kids up. The children in  the other line started making jokes about the " retards  "  on that bus and I felt a  strange feeling in my stomach, ,which I had never felt before. During a band class, my teacher, Mrs. Young, stopped our playing to give us some feed-  back. " Guys ,we ' re playing like the kids on the short bus !  Come on!"  I felt that same feeling I had in the bus line. The entire room was laughing when I raised my hand.  " Yes , Alexis?"  Mrs. Young asked. "I don't think we should make fun of the short bus, because there are a lot of people on  that bus who have great personalities and have the same feelings as we do. And also ,I know  some people on those buses and they are some of the most caring, sweetest, and smartest people , so I would appreciate it if you didn't make fun of them. " Everyone stared at me. Mrs. Young apologized for the comment and then started the song again. Why did Alexis go out of the kitchen?
Because she didn't want to help with dinner. Because she would be much sadder looking at Captain. Because she wanted to play with Captain outside. Because she wasn't willing to meet a sick brother.