DEARAUNTYf My husband's niece is 13 and what I would call "a handful". She wants to stay with us for while, and her mother and grandmother have told me what a great influence I would be on her. Her visit ,no doubt, would bring about a long list of demands' and she'd want to bring a friend too. I don t feel comfortable hosting her, but I don 3r know how to tell my husband's family members without hurting their feelings. -Reluctant Aunt Dear Reluctant, Let's get you out of this mess. Your husband's family is making a request that borders on a demand and sugarcoating it with self-serving flattery  * Put your foot down, and tell the truth. Say you don't feel equipped or comfortable hosting the little darling, and regretfully decline  .Under no circumstances should you take part in any discussion that attempts to change your mind through flattery. DEAR AUNTY have two stepdaughters, 21 and 24. On holidays, the older one always buys me gift but adds her sister's name on the card. I feel insincere thanking the younger daughter -Vd rather get no gift than be a part of this pretence. Is it tacky  to ask the 24-year-old to stop giving her sister credit while it isn t deserved? Will the younger one ever learn to be thoughtful? -Mindful Mum Dear Mindful, Lighten up! Your older stepdaughter is a considerate and generous sister who covers for and protects her younger sister. Good for her! The girls' relationship is between them. As for your role, you can't punish anyone into being thoughtful. You can, however, model thoughtful behavior. Spend some time with her, and get to know her better. Which of the following is TRUE about the second case?
Mindful Mum is very proud of her two step daughters. The two stepdaughters always buy Mindful Mum gifts. AUNTY thinks the older sister should be punished. The older stepdaughter cares for her sister.